New perspective

I'm not exactly a Pro at the photo shopping, but you get the idea, right?  The tragedy in CT rocked my world.  I have no idea how to put it into words, but I will try.  Or maybe I won't.  Truly, I just can't care so much about my weight.  It makes me grumpy to be hungry.  I am not a happy person when I am tracking my food and concentrating so hard on every little thing and feeling guilty when I miss a run and working so hard on my schedule...it's exhausting!  And those 4 little faces up there are SO much more important to me.

I believe, if I can go out and run 6 miles without stopping and am still participating in my day later, my health is fine.  These pounds are vanity pounds.  I have had 3 full pregnancies and my body shows it.  I have no interest in wearing a bikini or looking good in a belly shirt...I just want to be comfortable in my clothes.  I want to run this marathon in a faster time than the one last year, but I want to ENJOY my running.  Last week felt great.  Every run was very purposeful and really got my mind thinking and turning.

Last week's 6 miler was completed with the assistance of 3 Focus on the Family podcasts...the first two were about marriage and the third one was about depression.  I felt so uplifted and powerful listening to these words!!  On Saturday I ran a 5K and thought about the victims in CT the whole time.  I prayed for their families, I prayed for the kids, I prayed for the country as a whole to be able to come to terms with this.  Yesterday I read an article about an interview held with one of the father's of a victim.  He had such a great outlook and was so positive and strong in his faith...he truly loved the years his daughter blessed his life, rather than wallowing in the WHY?  or WHY ME?  I look at my kiddos and I don't want to waste another minute worrying about MYSELF, when everything at this point is about them.  Truly. 

I am happy.  I have a strong marriage - with ups and downs, for sure - but I have found a man I honestly want to spend the rest of my life with, I have 4 beautiful, awesome children who are hilarious and stressful on a daily basis!  Sometimes at the same time!  I have a fun job which I love, I have a close-knit family support system, I have a great home, reliable car...I do not care if there are a couple extra inches around my waistline. 

I think I will be switching over to my other blog - Adventures in Ma' Hood.  I would love to continue blogging.  I definitely will continue to track my mileage on Dailymile.com....I am, after all, still signed up for a marathon in April!  I love running.  I feel like it makes me a better momma.  I especially love running when I am not taking time away from my family.  Wednesdays are perfect - Shaun is at work and all four kids are at their various "schools".  I can take my time and get my long run complete without stressing out that someone needs me!  Saturday mornings are usually good, as well, because we are all kind of low key after a long week and lounging is our favorite until about 11 am.  I don't mind taking them to the daycare at the gym...they love it, there is active stuff for them to do. 

Thanks for listening and reading!  Have a blessed day.

xoxo
Audrey

One week down!

Good morning!! 

What a great week.  Seriously.  We got our Christmas tree up (earlier than ever before!) and lights all over the house (indoors mostly, but also some outside)...so, the spirit of the season has arrived.  I had my monthly "9 and Under" luncheon this past Saturday which went great in and of itself, but also leaves me at home for a Saturday night (rather than working) so I feel like I got some extra family time in there. 

There were other things, but those are the highlights coming to me now. 

Since I haven't been blogging for a while, I feel like there are some things I should catch the readers up on!!  I realize I am mostly here just to detail my weight loss and running and all things involved with that...but I gotta admit that when I read blogs I downright LOVE to get some personal "nuggets" in there, as well.  Definitely makes the person more relatable.  If you are here simply to find out how my first week of weight loss went and my first week of marathon training I will end your suspense before my rambling...

Bad at math?  That is 4.6 pounds down this week!  Hooooooray!!  I ran 2 miles on Tuesday, 3 miles on the track Thursday followed by 2 on the elliptical (does it count?  I feel like it does), then Saturday morning was a slightly tough 4 miles with my marathon partner, Donna.  I say slightly tough because the 2 mile route is mostly, if not all, uphill one way and downhill the way back.  We ran the up first.  I truly had to stop twice just to stretch!!!  Then I felt all great on the way back down.  Of course. 

So, following my Saturday run, I had to rush in to work for our monthly "9 and Under" luncheon!!  My parents own a restaurant called Fellini's #9.  We serve Italian food that is fantastic, and we really have quite a reputation for being a great "date night" restaurant.  Ever since we moved here and my kids have been able to hang out there a lot and do some waiter things (fill their own drinks, venture into the kitchen), they have played "Restaurant" regularly at home and at the park and pretty much all the time.  I had the idea to allow other kids (I only bring one of mine at a time!) to come in one Saturday a month and wait on their parents!  It is truly the cutest thing ever.  In fact, "cute" is the wrong word.  It is just awesome.  To see these children (ages 4-10) come in and actually focus on doing everything...and I do mean everything!  They roll silverware for their guests, seat them with a menu, take drink orders (alcohol is served by myself or my co-worker, Robyn), take food orders, cut strawberries for dessert, deliver bread, deliver each course of the meal...bus the tables.  Cool, right??  Meanwhile, their parents are relaxing in the dining room and enjoying a 3-course meal!  The kids get to sit and eat during the entrée course.  It has gone wonderfully every month and this marked our 4th time.  We tried something new this month and had one of the local piano teachers bring in several kids to play piano during lunch!  We always have live music during dinner, so I thought that would really complete the experience. 

I did well with sticking to Slim Fast this past week!  I really, really made it a point to not eat at work and cut out some other secret (horrible) snacking I had been doing.  I increased the water and only missed my mark one day!  Unfortunately, that day was Saturday...after a run...so I was feeling pretty crappy and headache-y Sunday.  I am so excited to see results!!!  I know this will help to keep me going.  Just knowing that the hard work is worth it. 

This week I plan to switch over to the Jackie Warner plan which I had great success with in the past!  I will try to make it to the grocery today in order to get all the items I need...I do have some Slim Fast shakes leftover, though, because I have used my AdvoCare Meal Replacement Shakes a couple of times.  They froth up wonderfully and look like ice cream when blended with frozen fruit!  Yum. 

That's all for now!  I have 3 miles on my schedule today, 6 Wednesday, 3 Friday, and 4 Saturday again.  I really, really, really, really want to be dead on this week with the numbers and the days they are planned.  Wednesdays have been hard, for some reason!  The 3 kids that are home with me during the week go to "school" on Wednesdays from 9-1, and I have just wanted to crawl back into bed every week lately after dropping them off!  I am going to ignore my internal voice and get out for that 6 miles.  Even if it takes me 2 hours.  Hahaha. 

Have a great day!!

And so it begins...again...

Good morning!!  Let the games BEGIN!

I weighed in this morning, and I'm just going to go on record as saying I will only accept 40 pounds lost over the next 20 weeks.  Ugh. 

I am going to have a quick pity party.  Or something like that. 

I worked SO hard and went SO far!  I had so many people supporting me in various ways, I took up running and honestly feel in the best shape of my LIFE at this point!  I ran a whole freakin' marathon!  I laughed at signing up for a measly 5K!  I looked at a 2 mile run on the schedule as a joke and always ran at least 1 extra!  I had family and friends all rooting for me and cheering me on along the way.  I lost 54 pounds!!  WHAT HAPPENED??  I have the excuses...I moved.  Started a new job.  New job just so happens to be in a deliciously yummy awesome restaurant where the bread and pasta is a'plenty.  I still have 3 kids at home full time.  I began making new friends.  Had to find a new church.  Etc. Etc.

I am still so frustrated to step on the damn scale this morning and see this:

Grrr.  218.8??  From my beginning (almost 2 years ago) weight, I am still at least down 20.  If I have to find a stupid silver lining.

Can you tell I am disappointed?  I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this.  It just wasn't.

So, still...40 pounds down would be 178.8...that sounds like a lovely goal to me!  I am going to try this a little bit differently and set mini goals throughout.  The math might not work out short term, but it should all end up being about 2 pounds per week at the end.  Considering the way I have been eating and drinking and just generally not caring lately...well, I expect some rather quick loss in the beginning.  I have partnered up with my sister and a co-worker (and possibly more people soon!) to set a goal for the month of December.  We have our company Christmas party on January 2nd, so each of us have set a number of pounds we would like to lose before the party.  Because I am promising nothing on that night!  :)  Just kidding.  I will actually plan to be very conscientious of what I eat and drink that evening and definitely up the workout on the day of and the day after. 

I am getting ahead of myself, though.  Starting this morning I got a good night's sleep (hooray!) and did some light cleaning of my daughter's bedroom before blending up 2 juiced apples, ice, and a slim fast shake.  It made a huge frothy mess, but it was actually quite delicious!  Here's proof...

So, shake number one is down for the day!  I will be eating a 500 calorie lunch with the family and I will pack some veggies and a shake for tonight at work.  My December goal is 19 pounds because I think it is very important for me to get below 200 quickly!  I realize this sounds a bit high, but I have NOT been drinking water and I have been eating way too many carbs for a while.  Including daily M & M's.  Seriously.  DAILY.  I began putting them in my yogurt for breakfast.  It's freakin' good.  :)  I am also going to cut out my  morning coffee because I have become accustomed to creamer in there and I think it is better to just cut it out entirely. 

I'm thinking the first 19 pounds will be easy.  It's the ones after that that are going to s-u-c-k.  However, maybe I should join the girls and their 10 pound December goals?  Just so I don't get discouraged if the first 19 fight me?  Ok.  10 pound December goal it is. 

I also kinda want to get some "prizes" for myself.  When I lose 10 pounds, I am buying a brand new Bible.  A super cute one with the tabs in it and maybe even a fancy case!  Oooooh. 

All right.  Enough for now.  Time to head to the grocery store and restock our bare fridge!!  Have a great day,