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Monday, December 17, 2012

New perspective

I'm not exactly a Pro at the photo shopping, but you get the idea, right?  The tragedy in CT rocked my world.  I have no idea how to put it into words, but I will try.  Or maybe I won't.  Truly, I just can't care so much about my weight.  It makes me grumpy to be hungry.  I am not a happy person when I am tracking my food and concentrating so hard on every little thing and feeling guilty when I miss a run and working so hard on my schedule...it's exhausting!  And those 4 little faces up there are SO much more important to me.

I believe, if I can go out and run 6 miles without stopping and am still participating in my day later, my health is fine.  These pounds are vanity pounds.  I have had 3 full pregnancies and my body shows it.  I have no interest in wearing a bikini or looking good in a belly shirt...I just want to be comfortable in my clothes.  I want to run this marathon in a faster time than the one last year, but I want to ENJOY my running.  Last week felt great.  Every run was very purposeful and really got my mind thinking and turning.

Last week's 6 miler was completed with the assistance of 3 Focus on the Family podcasts...the first two were about marriage and the third one was about depression.  I felt so uplifted and powerful listening to these words!!  On Saturday I ran a 5K and thought about the victims in CT the whole time.  I prayed for their families, I prayed for the kids, I prayed for the country as a whole to be able to come to terms with this.  Yesterday I read an article about an interview held with one of the father's of a victim.  He had such a great outlook and was so positive and strong in his faith...he truly loved the years his daughter blessed his life, rather than wallowing in the WHY?  or WHY ME?  I look at my kiddos and I don't want to waste another minute worrying about MYSELF, when everything at this point is about them.  Truly. 

I am happy.  I have a strong marriage - with ups and downs, for sure - but I have found a man I honestly want to spend the rest of my life with, I have 4 beautiful, awesome children who are hilarious and stressful on a daily basis!  Sometimes at the same time!  I have a fun job which I love, I have a close-knit family support system, I have a great home, reliable car...I do not care if there are a couple extra inches around my waistline. 

I think I will be switching over to my other blog - Adventures in Ma' Hood.  I would love to continue blogging.  I definitely will continue to track my mileage on Dailymile.com....I am, after all, still signed up for a marathon in April!  I love running.  I feel like it makes me a better momma.  I especially love running when I am not taking time away from my family.  Wednesdays are perfect - Shaun is at work and all four kids are at their various "schools".  I can take my time and get my long run complete without stressing out that someone needs me!  Saturday mornings are usually good, as well, because we are all kind of low key after a long week and lounging is our favorite until about 11 am.  I don't mind taking them to the daycare at the gym...they love it, there is active stuff for them to do. 

Thanks for listening and reading!  Have a blessed day.


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